{"id":9063,"date":"2021-09-13T18:15:13","date_gmt":"2021-09-13T18:15:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/?post_type=cde-knowledge-base&#038;p=9063"},"modified":"2026-02-27T07:08:32","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T12:08:32","slug":"is-now-a-good-time","status":"publish","type":"cde-knowledge-base","link":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/is-now-a-good-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Is now a good time?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"9063\" class=\"elementor elementor-9063 elementor-10342\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-76e12491 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"76e12491\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-82c02ca\" data-id=\"82c02ca\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-716cf728 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"716cf728\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3><b>Is now a good time?<\/b><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When young children want information and advice, they go to their parents first. Once they reach their teenage years, they tend to rely more on friends, the media, and others people for information. As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to reach your children before anyone else. You have the opportunity to shape their minds and teach them values and traditions that are important to you.<\/span><\/p><h4><b>Remember it\u2019s never too late<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Older children still need accurate information, guidance, and support. They are more likely to come to their parents for help if the parent-child bond is strong.<br \/><\/span><\/p><h4><strong> There are ways to build this relationship with older children, for example<\/strong><\/h4><blockquote><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-style: normal;\">Let them know you understand that as they get older, they might think about or feel pressured to date or have sex, have questions about their bodies, or feel like people expect certain things of them because of their gender<\/span>.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">Don\u2019t be afraid to share examples from your own life \u2013 this can be an effective, relatable way to express concern and teach from experience. For example, \u201cOne night I tried to drive home drunk from a party and crashed into the guardrail. The paramedics told me I was lucky to survive. I was just lucky I didn\u2019t hit another car. Even so, it took me a few years to straighten myself out. That\u2019s what alcohol and painkillers did to me. I hope you\u2019ll be a lot smarter than I was, and realize how quickly that stuff can control you, rather than the other way around.\u201d Remember, however, that the point of this kind of disclosure is to raise your child\u2019s awareness of the risks and how decisions have consequences, not to bond by sharing personal stories. Parents or adult caregivers who tell their stories to build relationships or trust (rather than by acting in ways that are trustworthy) risk their messages being lost and undermining their authority.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">You may feel nervous or uncomfortable, especially if these are new conversations. You can admit this to your children to show you will be open and honest with them (it might even help ease some of the tension).<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask yourself why you feel nervous:<\/span> <\/span><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">Is it because you never had these conversations with your own parents?<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">Is it because you do not have all the answers?<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">Is it because you are worried that your relationship will be impacted?<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-style: normal;\">Consider sharing the reasons for your feelings with your children. Most important, however, is to improve the things you can \u2013 educate yourself, practice saying out loud the words that make you uncomfortable, and keep communicating with your children \u2013 so that these conversations can become more natural.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/blockquote><h4><b>Take the initiative<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your children might not always come to you with questions or concerns, so it\u2019s also appropriate for you to begin the conversation. Current events, TV and other media, and recent events in your child\u2019s life are good tools for this.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Just one or two questions that come from everyday events can help start excellent conversations. For example, if you and your pre-teen are watching a show that has a fight between friends as part of the plot, after the show is over, ask what they thought about how the characters behaved.<\/span><\/p><h4><b>Be the kind of person you want your child to become<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use language and actions that are respectful, empathetic, positive, and appropriate in your own conversations and relationships with family, friends, and community members. For example, if you are using slang or derogatory terms to describe women and girls, your children will likely believe what you say and model your behavior and vocabulary. Your children are always watching and learning from you because they respect you and look up to you. One child development expert said, \u201cKids hear about 1% of what we say and 100% of what we do.\u201d<\/span><\/p><h4><b>Remember that teens want mutually respectful conversations<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid dictating and lecturing. Share your feelings, values and learn about those of your children. Questions, debates, and even challenges are signs you are doing things well; it means your children are listening and value your experience, insight, and opinions. But remember that you cannot dictate another person\u2019s feelings, values, or decisions \u2014 the best you can do is to love and support your children, even when they choose differently than you would or make mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-edb225c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"edb225c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-bc3730f\" data-id=\"bc3730f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-288128b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"288128b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-984a608\" data-id=\"984a608\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e75a33e elementor-align-left view-more-post elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"e75a33e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/how-do-i-prepare-pt-1\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-0af2597\" data-id=\"0af2597\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e6e2273 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e6e2273\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Now that you have decided to talk to your children about healthy communication, take the next step with <a href=\"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/how-do-i-prepare-pt-1\/\"><b>How Do I Prepare? Part 1<\/b><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5caba99 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"5caba99\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6813dc6\" data-id=\"6813dc6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-87ccedd elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"87ccedd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. See <\/span><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.advocatesforyouth.org\/publications\/646?task=view\">Channel 6: Talking with TV<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.advocatesforyouth.org\/publications\/647?task=view\">Channel 7: Educational TV<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> from the booklet \u201cTalking with TV: A guide to starting dialogue with youth\u201d by Advocates for Youth for ideas.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5f38ae9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"5f38ae9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-b69f032\" data-id=\"b69f032\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0047a2c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0047a2c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Last updated 2021<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is now a good time? When young children want information and advice, they go to their parents first. Once they reach their teenage years, they tend to rely more on friends, the media, and others people for information. As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to reach your children before [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17871,"template":"","meta":{"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]"},"media_category":[146,228,232],"media_tags":[266,300,589],"class_list":["post-9063","cde-knowledge-base","type-cde-knowledge-base","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","media_category-esperanza-united-departments","media_category-toolkits","media_category-our-community-says-no-mas","media_tags-free","media_tags-prevention","media_tags-youth-resources"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base\/9063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/cde-knowledge-base"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base\/9063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39099,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base\/9063\/revisions\/39099"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17871"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"media_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media_category?post=9063"},{"taxonomy":"media_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media_tags?post=9063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}