{"id":9067,"date":"2021-09-13T18:20:21","date_gmt":"2021-09-13T18:20:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/?post_type=cde-knowledge-base&#038;p=9067"},"modified":"2026-02-27T07:05:29","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T12:05:29","slug":"expressing-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"cde-knowledge-base","link":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/expressing-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"Expressing sexuality"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"9067\" class=\"elementor elementor-9067 elementor-10357\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-682537d8 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"682537d8\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-730b9b1a\" data-id=\"730b9b1a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-55e0f2e1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"55e0f2e1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3><b>Expressing our sexuality<\/b><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u200bAlthough having \u201cthe talk\u201d can be daunting, it is vital that your children understand your values and that they have correct information.<\/span><\/p><h4><b>Talk about consent<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consent is simple \u2013 it is an unambiguous \u201cyes.\u201d It\u2019s possible to teach even young children about consent. Doing so not only reinforces your messages about establishing and respecting personal boundaries (see \u201cHealthy Relationships\u201d) and appropriate\/inappropriate touch (see \u201cHealthy Sexuality\u201d), it will help them become young people who value and practice consensual sexual relations.<\/span><\/p><h4><strong>Teach your children<\/strong><\/h4><blockquote><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To ask for permission to touch another person, including friends or classmates. Teach them to ask things like, \u201cMay I hold your hand?\u201d or \u201cMay I give you a hug?\u201d<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consent can be given or taken away at any time. For example, your friends may decide after a little while that they no longer want to hold your hand, or that even though they wanted a hug from you yesterday, they don\u2019t want you to hug them now. Teach your children to check in frequently.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teach your children that just because someone didn\u2019t say \u201cno,\u201d that doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re definitely saying \u201cyes\u201d (only \u201cyes\u201d means \u201cyes\u201d). Teach your children that the other person gets to say, \u201cYes, it\u2019s OK for you to hug me,\u201d before your child may touch them.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Model these rules for consent and actively support your children\u2019s practices of consent and setting personal boundaries.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><h4><b>Talk about abstinence and safer sex<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s possible to talk to young people about both abstinence and safer sex without sending a \u201cmixed message.\u201d From a young age, most of us hear mixed messages about a variety of things, which is not necessarily a bad thing. For example, your children\u2019s grandparents might tell them to eat everything on their plates, but you might tell them they should stop eating when they\u2019re full.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If, instead, young people learn about several options, it helps them think critically about things. This means that when they are in a situation where there\u2019s temptation to engage in potentially perilous behavior, they have the ability to consider alternatives and what the outcomes might be. Teach your children from a young age to make progressively more complex decisions (see \u201cHealthy Relationships\u201d), so they\u2019re comfortable weighing alternatives and understand that decisions have consequences. This is all part of critical thinking, which is an important skill to develop and practice in order to make healthy decisions throughout life.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Families, schools, and communities <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.advocatesforyouth.org\/parents\/174?task=view\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">provide different messages<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that children need to sort out. It\u2019s the adults\u2019 responsibility to assist children in this task. Parents (and adult caregivers) have the advantage of having years to demonstrate their values to their teens. They know their teens\u2019 attitudes and personalities. They understand their teens\u2019 histories and goals for the future. Parents and other adults have had their teens\u2019 entire lifetime to impress upon them what messages are most important. We sometimes don\u2019t give our children enough credit for being able to navigate the values we provide.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parents, teachers, or other adults send a clear message to children when they say, \u201cI feel strongly that not having sexual intercourse while you\u2019re a teenager is your best option. It is also important for you to receive information about birth control or protection so that someday, when you are ready to have intercourse, you\u2019ll be better prepared to prevent an unplanned pregnancy or disease.\u201d This message communicates both the values-based behavior you expect from them during their adolescent years and necessary information for future reference.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These conversations empower young people to act responsibly because they will need accurate information about things like contraception and sexual health at some point. Adults should consistently share their hopes and values when discussing this topic with their children; for example, \u201cI hope you will wait to have sex until you are older and more mature,\u201d and, later, acknowledge that young people are more mature than children, and need important information in order to make healthy decisions. For example, \u201cWhen you decide to be sexually intimate with somebody, please make sure you always, always use protection against sexually transmitted infections and [if applicable] pregnancy.\u201d<\/span><\/p><h4><b>Talk to young people about getting \u201ccaught in the moment\u201d<\/b><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When asked why they didn\u2019t use contraception or condoms, many young people will say, \u201cI wasn\u2019t planning it; it just happened. We got \u2018swept away\u2019 and didn\u2019t use anything.\u201d Make clear that this is not OK by reinforcing that they\u2019re responsible for healthy decisions for themselves. (\u201cYou must be prepared \u2014 this is the mature way to act.\u201d)<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can do this! Imagine the following scenario: You find condoms, contact information for test sites for sexually transmitted infections, or contraceptives in your teen\u2019s room. Take a deep breath and remember these are signs that your ongoing conversations are important, that your teen is paying attention, and he or she is now trying hard to make responsible, mature decisions. Use it as an opportunity to have a conversation \u2013 support your teen in making healthy decisions, share your feelings, and talk together about intimacy, love, and responsibility.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-92d7769 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"92d7769\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-614f5a4\" data-id=\"614f5a4\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-1870c99 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"1870c99\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-f6c9236\" data-id=\"f6c9236\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-398a515 elementor-align-left view-more-post elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"398a515\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/take-action\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-70d4d29\" data-id=\"70d4d29\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ff34b89 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ff34b89\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Now that you\u2019ve learned how to talk to your children about these issues, check out our\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/take-action\/\"><b>tips on how to Take Action.<\/b><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-3e3b750 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default tf-sticky-section tf-sticky-no\" data-id=\"3e3b750\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;tf_sticky&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a86d773\" data-id=\"a86d773\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-19e6724 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"19e6724\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Last updated 2021<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Expressing our sexuality \u200bAlthough having \u201cthe talk\u201d can be daunting, it is vital that your children understand your values and that they have correct information. Talk about consent Consent is simple \u2013 it is an unambiguous \u201cyes.\u201d It\u2019s possible to teach even young children about consent. Doing so not only reinforces [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17871,"template":"","meta":{"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]"},"media_category":[146,228,232],"media_tags":[300,589],"class_list":["post-9067","cde-knowledge-base","type-cde-knowledge-base","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","media_category-esperanza-united-departments","media_category-toolkits","media_category-our-community-says-no-mas","media_tags-prevention","media_tags-youth-resources"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base\/9067","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/cde-knowledge-base"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base\/9067\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39093,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cde-knowledge-base\/9067\/revisions\/39093"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17871"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9067"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"media_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media_category?post=9067"},{"taxonomy":"media_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media_tags?post=9067"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}