{"id":9072,"date":"2021-09-13T18:32:38","date_gmt":"2021-09-13T18:32:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/?post_type=cde-knowledge-base&p=9072"},"modified":"2026-02-27T07:23:17","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T12:23:17","slug":"addressing-confrontation","status":"publish","type":"cde-knowledge-base","link":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/knowledge-base\/our-community-says-no-mas\/addressing-confrontation\/","title":{"rendered":"Addressing confrontation"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Addressing confrontation<\/strong><\/h3>

\u200bViolent relationships in adolescence <\/span>can have serious ramifications<\/span> by putting victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behaviors, and further domestic violence. Teaching your children to control themselves when faced with confrontation will equip them with tools to build healthy relationships.<\/span><\/p>

Teach assertiveness, not aggressiveness<\/b><\/h4>

Teach your children to make their feelings known by stating their opinions, desires, and reactions clearly. Give them language to help them negotiate difficult situations. For example, \u201cI\u2019m not comfortable; can we talk about this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>

Teach anger control<\/b><\/h4>

Help your children recognize their personal signs for anger. Do they have tensed arms and shoulders? Do they feel their hearts pounding? Are they clenching their fists? These are signs and feelings that need to be acknowledged and resolved. Give them tools to help them recognize and name their feelings. Additionally, give them tools to calm down, such as deep breathing, counting backward from 10, reminding themselves that they have control over what to say and do next, or if nothing else, walking away. Teach your children that any incident of violence in a relationship is a serious problem.<\/span><\/p>

A story from a parent<\/strong><\/h4>

My 5-year-old son is learning about anger control at his preschool. They taught him that when he is feeling angry or frustrated, he can help calm himself by taking some \u201cbelly breaths\u201d (deep breaths with his hands on his tummy). Since he learned this skill, we have tried to reinforce it at home so that he keeps using this positive practice in his daily life, and it really does help him calm down and think more clearly about what is happening and how to resolve it.<\/p>

Lately, though, when he sees that I am frustrated or angry, he will suggest that maybe I need to take some \u201cbelly breaths.\u201d Honestly, my initial response was embarrassment that he could tell that I\u2019m upset, and anger because it felt like he was telling me how to behave. But he is usually right, and I have started to respond to his caring suggestion with less defensiveness. I am now able to smile, and take a few \u201cbelly breaths\u201d that help me calm down and think more clearly about what is happening and how to resolve it.<\/span><\/p>

Teach problem-solving<\/b><\/h4>

Help your children work through problem-solving skills.<\/span><\/p>