{"id":40028,"date":"2026-09-22T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-22T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/?p=40028"},"modified":"2026-09-18T11:03:04","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T16:03:04","slug":"the-phrases-we-grew-up-with-and-the-truth-behind-them-en-pleitos-de-pareja-nadie-se-debe-meter-when-does-privacy-become-silence-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esperanzaunited.org\/en\/the-phrases-we-grew-up-with-and-the-truth-behind-them-en-pleitos-de-pareja-nadie-se-debe-meter-when-does-privacy-become-silence-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The phrases we grew up with, and the truth behind them: “En pleitos de pareja nadie se debe meter.\u201d When does privacy become silence?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Growing up in a Latin@ household often means growing up with sayings. They show up at family dinners, in advice from t\u00edas, in things we hear so often we stop questioning them. Some of these phrases are harmless. Others quietly taught us to accept things we never should have accepted, especially when it comes to how we understand love, safety and relationships.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

This Hispanic Heritage Month, we’re looking at five of those phrases: what they meant, when we heard them, and what we know now.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Many of us have heard the phrase:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

\u201cEn pleitos de pareja nadie se debe meter.\u201d<\/span><\/b>\u00a0
\u201cNobody should get involved in a couple\u2019s fights.\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

It is often said as a reminder to respect other people\u2019s relationships. What happens between two people is private, we are told. Don\u2019t take sides. Don\u2019t ask too many questions. Don\u2019t get involved.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

And respecting someone\u2019s privacy matters.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

But what happens when staying out of it also means staying silent when someone we care about may be experiencing abuse?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

There is a difference between privacy and isolation<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Domestic violence can thrive in isolation.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

A person experiencing abuse may already feel unsure about telling someone what is happening. They may worry they will not be believed. They may fear being judged for staying, returning to the relationship, or not knowing what they want to do next.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

When the people around them believe that relationship problems should always remain behind closed doors, asking for help can become even harder.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Supporting someone does not mean making decisions for them or telling them what they <\/span>should<\/span><\/i> do.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Sometimes support starts much more simply:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Listening. Believing them. Asking how you can help. Reminding them they are not alone.<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Showing up without taking over<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

It can be difficult to know what to say when someone tells you they are experiencing abuse.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

We may want to immediately fix the situation. We may want to say, <\/span>\u201cYou need to leave.\u201d<\/span><\/i> We may even become frustrated when someone makes a decision we do not understand.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

But survivors are the experts in their own lives.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Being supportive can mean respecting their choices while helping them understand their options. It can mean offering information without pressure, checking in when it is safe to do so, or simply being a person they know they can come back to.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

That kind of support does something important: <\/span>it helps push back against isolation without taking away a survivor\u2019s agency.<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

You don’t have to know exactly what to say<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

If someone you care about has shared that they are experiencing abuse \u2014 or you are concerned about their relationship \u2014 you do not have to become an expert before you can support them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Esperanza United’s Help a friend<\/a> <\/strong><\/em><\/span>offers practical guidance on how to listen, what you can say, and ways to support someone without judgment or pressure.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Sometimes opening a door is enough to remind someone that support is there when they are ready.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

What do we want to pass forward?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Maybe the lesson does not need to be <\/span>\u201cEn pleitos de pareja nadie se debe meter.\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Maybe what we pass forward can be something different:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

We respect one another’s choices. We listen without judgment. And when someone we love needs support, we don’t look away.<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Because community is not about making decisions for one another.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

It is about making sure no one has to face a difficult moment alone.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Growing up in a Latin@ household often means growing up with sayings. They show up at family dinners, in advice from t\u00edas, in things we hear so often we stop questioning them. Some of these phrases are harmless. Others quietly taught us to accept things we never should have accepted, especially […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":40088,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\n\t\t\n