Breaking assumptions, building bonds 

When a Spanish-speaking father picked up the phone to call Esperanza United, he did it with a knot in his throat. He wasn’t sure anyone would believe him. In his mind, echoed the same old phrases he had heard too many times: “Men are not victims. Men endure. Men don’t cry.” 

But he did cry. He did suffer. And, most of all, he knew he couldn’t stay silent any longer. 

The violence he endured in his relationship had left him with invisible scars – the kind you can’t see on the skin but that weigh heavily on the soul. Yet there was something stronger than fear: his children. 

He wanted to be there for them, not as a distant presence but as a father who could teach them that breaking the silence is also an act of love. 

That single call changed everything. On the other end, he found a bilingual advocate from Esperanza United who not only spoke his language, but also understood his culture, his doubts, and his fears. With patience and empathy, she gave him something the system had never offered: validation. 

He began to ask the questions he had held inside for years: 

• Can I ask for custody? 

• Will anyone believe me? 

• Do I even have the right to want something better for my kids? 

And every time, the answer was the same: yes. 

The legal process can be overwhelming. Endless forms, confusing hearings, and a system that rarely acknowledged the possibility of a father being a survivor. There were days when he thought about giving up. But then he thought of his children – their laughter, their small hands reaching for his – and he found the strength to keep going. 

With the support of his advocate, he learned how to navigate the documents, prepare for court, and, above all, raise his voice in spaces that had once silenced him. 

Today, this father is filing for joint custody. Not because he wants control, but because he wants to be present. Because he understands that fatherhood is not just about providing – it is about showing up, about healing, about love. 

His story challenges the assumptions that men cannot suffer, that fathers do not ask for help. And it reminds us of something essential: violence does not discriminate, and neither does hope. 

At Esperanza United, we believe every survivor deserves to be heard, no matter who they are or where they come from. We are here to walk alongside them, to open doors where there were once only walls, and to show that culture is not a barrier – it is a bridge toward justice and healing. 

This father found the strength to rewrite his story and his children’s story. And his journey reminds us why Esperanza United exist: to be there in the moment someone decides to reach out for help. 

Because no one should carry pain alone. Because courage has no gender. And because when community comes together, healing stops being a dream and becomes reality.