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Exercise 1: Meet Freddy

Freddy will be your guide

Hello, my name is Freddy, and I live with my parents in West St. Paul, Minnesota. I am 23 years old, single and a senior at the university. I have a stepbrother named Jorge, and he lives with his wife and children in Minneapolis, 20 minutes from my home. I also have many uncles, aunts and cousins in this area. We get together almost every Sunday to have dinner; sometimes there are more than 40 family members gathered at our house.[i]

A few months ago, during one of our Sunday dinners, I realized that my sister-in-law was alone in the kitchen crying. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t want to tell me. I told my mother,

and they went to the bedroom to talk. Blanca trusts[ii] my mother a lot, and she told her that my brother Jorge had hit her that morning. She said it wasn’t the first time, and that he frequently insulted and degraded her even in front of their children.

When everyone was gone, my mom told my dad and me about the situation. Jorge is my mom’s son from her first husband, and she’s afraid of him because he has a bad temper. My mom asked my dad to talk to Jorge but he said he’d already tried talking to him many times, and besides, this was a private matter between Jorge and Blanca.

Jorge was raised by his father, who is very sexist (machista).[iii] Perhaps that’s where he learned to be very dominating and violent towards women. Luckily my dad isn’t like that. He taught me to be a gentleman[iv] and to respect women. My uncles and cousins are also very respectful and affectionate with my aunts.

I don’t agree with my dad’s reaction that Jorge’s problem is personal and there’s nothing that can be done, but I didn’t want to contradict him in front of my mom.[v], My friend Jack, however, has invited me several times to a men’s group that gets together to talk and organize activities against domestic violence. The truth is that I haven’t wanted to go because I don’t know if there would be other Latinos in the group, but I need to seek help for Jorge and his family. I’m not going to abandon my brother, his wife or their children.

Questions for reflection: